That Time We Murdered the Little Drummer Boy

Let me clarify that we murdered the song Little Drummer Boy, and not an actual small child that plays a drum. That would be beyond awkward. That would be a felony.

No, I'm talking about my most botched attempt at playing a song in front of an audience, of which there are many.

It was a dark, cold December night in Wisconsin (shocking), and I was leading worship at Crosspoint Community Church in Oconomowoc. This particular worship set was a challenge. We had planned a 5 songs set, but one of the songs was actually a medley of 3 Christmas carols. Just because it's a medley and you're only playing one verse and chorus of the song, you're still basically learning the song. On top of the medley, we were also doing the Jars of Clay version of the Little Drummer Boy, which has a funky, syncopated rhythm happening. Very cool, but a little tricky and very unlike the standard version we've all heard a million times.

A few minutes before the service, I was chatting with the senior pastor, Terry about how the rehearsal went, the transitions, the amount of material there was that week, typical Christmas work load ramp up, etc. He said something to the effect of I hadn't had any major screw-ups that year, so I had a mulligan coming. Thanks. I think.

We started the service with the medley, which I considered the most challenging part of the set - three embedded songs with transitions. I think it was Holly Jolly Christmas, Jingle Bell Rock and some other hokey, Burl Ives type deal. Anyway, smooth sailing. That was followed by a worship song. Odds are 3:1 it was by Chris Tomlin.

Then the real fun started.

The drummer started the click track for Little Drummer Boy and then began playing his beat. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize it. I tried to focus on what he was playing, but it didn't even seem like his beat was following the click. "This could be a problem," I remarked to myself. Or maybe I said "oh crap." Hard to remember. I tried to fall in line on guitar, but I could not find the rhythm. I stopped playing and stopped the drummer.

I asked the drummer to try again with similar results. It was around this time I started hearing comments from the back of the room. Good times. Turns out it was the senior pastor heckling me about not having a screw up yet. Yes, hilarious. At least the congregation was in a good mood about it.

At this point I was just a bit flustered. I tried attempt number three without drums. I still could not find it. I was hearing the standard version melody and rhythm in my head, which only made things worse. However, despite my anxiety level spiking you could sense the audience pulling for us. Then someone else in the band gave it a shot. Nothing. Still more laughing and smiling and a supportive energy in the room. I can't remember how many restarts there were in what felt like seven and a half hours standing there trying get the train rolling again.

Eventually I remembered a 3 note riff in the verse that brought me back. I started the song on my own and got through verse one, line one. The crowd went wild. Okay, not wild, but they cheered and you could tell they were still rooting for us. The rest of the band fell in and we made it through the song. It was a little clunky. It didn't matter. There was much rejoicing by the band, the crew and the congregation. And the senior pastor.

A few things I took away from that night...

One, be careful about working at or over capacity. Especially in a ministry position at the busiest time of the year.

Two, no matter how bad the train wreck is, church is gonna happen. I've participated in services where the drummer had to cancel at the last second, where a singer lost her voice minutes before service, where we lost power and had to set up in the lobby with no PA system. I can be prepared for lots of things, but not everything. Trust God that it'll work out.

Three, my church family is family. And they love and support me even when it all falls apart. Maybe especially then. And because of that, what felt like a total disaster as it was happening ended up being a unique, funny, touching moment we all shared together. Pretty awesome.

Merry Christmas, all!! And if you'd like to check out Jars of Clay doing their version and not murdering it, here you go!

https://youtu.be/Mb0hAPimGrU

How (to) I Create Charts

Here's how I create charts.

1. Google the name of the song and the word "chords". Example: from the inside out chords

2. Start clicking links until you get a chart that has all the lyrics and seems to have the chords shown above the lyrics fairly close to where they should be. Do not bother looking at whether any of the chords are in the key you need or if any are correct. Some might be and more than likely, some aren't.

3. Copy and paste into any word processor, or into Planning Center as a chart.

4. Load an mp3 and start playing along. Edit all chords, and lyrics if necessary, as you go along.

I know this isn't an earth-shattering secret, but this works really well for me. I assume the chords I copied are wrong and I'll check every single one, but I'll save time because even though the chords might be wrong, most of the time they are put in the right location.

Another tip you might find useful... if as the band leader you like to do a song very close to the recording, but you modify the chord progression in the bridge, it would be helpful to communicate that to the band. Like with a note on your chart that indicates something like "follow the chord chart for this bridge even though it's different than the recording". It'll save time in the long run.

Got any other tips for creating charts? I'd love to hear them.

The Singer Is Always Right

"Well, I have a microphone, and you dont. SO you will listen to every word I have to say!" - Adam Sandler as the Wedding Singer

Okay, I'll admit, having the microphone does not make the singer right, but there is practical application why I adopted this rule of thumb. It has to do with the fact that more attention is being paid to the lead singer, who happens to be holding the microphone, than anyone else.

There are exceptions to this rule and they pretty much fall on the drummer. Sorry bass players, guitar players, keyboard players, percussionists and banjo players. (Banjo is getting HUGE in worship right now. I'm surprised you didn't know that. It's so introspective and worshipful.)

If you start a song and the singer comes in early, then guess what... That's the new start of verse 1. Even if they come in on the wrong beat. Playing along and hoping they catch up is unlikely to work, and will become painful if it goes longer than 1.5 seconds. If they forget the words to the song and need an extra four measures, then four measures it is! Even if they jump to a bridge when it should have been a chorus. Someone's got to drive this train and whether you like it or not, the singer is in the driver's seat.

Do I say this because I'm a singer? No. Do I say this because I think the singer plays the most important role in leading the song? No, even though arguably they do. Do I say this because the singer has the most sensitive personality and we need to prop them up every chance we get? No, even though that might be more true than I'd like to admit.

There are times for collaboration and making decisions as a team. The middle of a song is not one of those times. The middle of a song calls for immediate, dictator-like decisions. Even if the dictator doesn't necessarily know what they're doing. And if this is the case, you might want to consider addressing that bigger issue, hopefully not in the middle of a rehearsal. Awkward.

Now, you may have a different philosophy and believe that everyone should follow the piano-playing music director. That's great. I think the most important aspect here is that your what-if scenarios are thought through and then communicated with the entire band so they know what to do when (not if) something goes wrong. Because eventually something will. Knowing who to look at for body language, hand signals or spoken cues before you are in that situation helps you pull out of a nose dive quickly.

I have to admit I don't worry too much about things going wrong in a worship service, and in fact, there are times I enjoy it. You learn a lot about people when things don't go as planned. Plus, no matter how bad us human beings may screw up the plan, church is gonna happen. I'm pretty sure God can handle a singer coming in at the wrong measure or having to start Little Drummer Boy half a dozen times because half the band forgot how to play it. Not that that happened to me or anything.

Let's Give the Lord a Hand!

Let me start by reminding you all that I didn't grow up in church. I grew up playing in rock bands. On stages. In bars. Where people hang out and occasionally applaud something they hear from the stage when they like it.  That's why when I first heard this phrase in church, I was, um, taken aback.

Maybe you've been there. You're onstage finishing leading a rocking, uptempo, high-energy worship song when the announcement guy takes over the transition while everyone is clapping and says "let's give the Lord a hand!" Huh?

I get where this is coming from. Truly I do. We are doing all of this for God, so let's turn all the focus on Him. I'm not saying we shouldn't do that. What I am saying is that in every other facet of life when human beings (sometimes even animals and occasionally robots) do something that looks, sounds, smells and tastes like a performance, people applaud the performance of those people when they think it's worthy. Yes, I get that the talent of those people came from God so  at church an attempt is being made to acknowledge God through those people. I'm just telling you from my own perspective, it feels so out of place. And I'm a Christian! Imagine what the poor guy that went to see Imagine Dragons the night before whose girlfriend dragged him to church Sunday morning and he decided to check out what this Jesus dude is all about thinks?

Band starts playing...

"Man, this is not at all what I thought Christian music was like. These guys are actually really good."

"Have I heard this song on the radio before? I'm not sure, but I like it!"

"Wow, this one rocks!"

Song ends and Mr. Announcements walks up... Let's give it up for the Lord!

"Wait. What? This band is called The Lord? I thought they were the church band. I'm so confused."

And people think Christians are weird.

I can't be the only one who has ever thought this, right?

How to Ruin Your Wednesday Night

Allow me to describe the worst worship band rehearsal I have ever experienced.

Everything actually started pretty well. Everyone was more or less on time, in a good mood, plugged in and ready to go.  The band leader, not me on this occasion, called out the first song. The drummer counted us in. Then something terrible happened. The resulting 30 seconds of sound, I can't call it music, may have been right at home on one of the ghost catching "reality" TV shows, but it was sorely out of place in a church. An atonal un-masterpiece. Musicians playing different songs in different keys at different tempos.

Technically, we were all playing the same song, however about half of us were playing one arrangement and the other half was playing a completely different one. There were at least two different keys, but frankly, it was hard to decipher.

That was just the beginning.

What happened next was, um, uncomfortable. The band leader decided to forge ahead. "Let's hear the correct version through the PA, please." New charts were coordinated and printed. Musicians listened to the song over the PA and tried to relearn this correct, new-to-them version on the spot. No pressure there.

The next 45-60 minutes was spent fumbling, stumbling, and hacking through song number one of the night. Not to mention half the scheduled rehearsal time was burned. People were frustrated. And by people, I mean me.  Especially because I was not in the role of band leader. I felt the best way for me to handle things was to support the band leader, do what he asked and keep my mouth shut. It wasn't easy.

Rehearsal went long and beside my own emotional struggle with the evening, I don't think it's a stretch to say I wasn't the only one looking forward to getting home and having a glass of wine when we were done.

I learned a few lessons that night that I found to be helpful for leading a band rehearsal.

1. Start with the easiest or most familiar song. This can get tricky as band members will be at different talent levels, experience, etc. But there is usually one song in your set that's kind of obvious. If in doubt, let the singer decide. Seriously.

2. If you get into a situation where the song is a train wreck, bail on it. Either cut it completely, or at least put it off until the weekend with a stipulation that if it doesn't come together quickly at the next rehearsal, it will be cut. No pointing fingers, no pressure. If it works, cool. If not, cool.

3. Stay organized. The reason that song derailed that night was because of sloppy organization of song assets in the software used to coordinate with the band.  Multiple files where there should have been one. MP3s and documents not labeled clearly. It could have been avoided.

4. Communicate. Especially if there is any doubt about which song/arrangement/key a song is being done in. My preferred method is to email the band with notes on each song in the set. Something like:

I Am - Set opener. We are using the recording as a road map, however the recording starts with piano, but no keyboard player this week, so we will start with acoustic guitar instead. Watch the timing going in and out of each chorus. During the bridge breakdown, Ryan please come up with a simple electric guitar lead part to help fill. For backing vocals, Bill please sing unison on all the choruses, Jane please sing unison on chorus 1 and a harmony above on the rest. A harmony part on the second half of the bridge could be cool too.

5. Lower expectations. In the last few years, every rehearsal I have lead starts with me stating the purpose of the mid-week rehearsal. That purpose is to make sure we are all playing the same songs, in the same arrangement and the same key. We will not be practicing transitions or ironing out wrinkles. Any wrinkles identified should be worked on between after this rehearsal and before the next. My aim is to get through the rehearsal as efficiently as possible and be done as soon as that purpose has been fulfilled. I can't recall a single time where we got to the weekend set and I regretted not having a longer mid-week rehearsal to prepare. Not one. People became more relaxed at that first rehearsal and everyone knew I would not waste their time. On the rare occasion that I really felt we needed to hit something more than once, I think most of the team respectfully obliged and often were in agreement that we'd benefit from that effort.

This works for me.  Your mileage may vary.

My Monitors - Worst. Mix. Ever.

Stage monitors, whether wedges or in-ear type, are meant to help you hear instruments and vocalists on the stage.

Some musicians love to dial in their monitors like they are mixing the master recordings for the Beatles White album. I have seen friends onstage meticulously tweaking and dialing in every instrument on stage. They'll ask the sound engineer to adjust EQ and compression on the bass guitar and request that the noise gate release time on the kick get turned down 14 milliseconds. God bless them. Trying to get that perfect mix that will inspire them to perform better. (Sorry, did I say "perform"?)

This is pretty much the opposite of how I dial my monitors in. Join me on a little tour...

My vocal is going to be the loudest channel by far. Why? Because I'm just that good and I love to hear my voice. Or because I need to hear myself to stay somewhat in tune. I forget which. Anyway, on a scale of one to 10 for loudness, my vocal is going to be at 8. Why not 10? Because I like to have a little room in case I want that last little push over the cliff, and I have not seen an Aviom that goes to 11.

My guitar is next at about 6.5.

Drums are at 4.

Click track is underneath that. I like it to almost disappear when the drums are playing. If I'm starting a song and nothing else is playing, it's very easy to hear that click even at low volume.

All other singers and instruments are at 1 or 2. I might make an exception if there's a keyboard  or guitar part I really need to hear, but it's pretty rare I'll go above 3.

If the average person plugged in my in-ears to take a listen they might be appalled. It can be a truly awful sounding mix if you are trying to enjoy the music. But that's the thing... the purpose of my mix isn't to enjoy the music, it's to be able to sing and play my parts right.

I'm not saying this method is going to work for everyone. It takes some getting used to, but once you do, your tolerance for a less-than-perfect mix will build and you will save yourself, and the band, a ton of time and aggravation.

There is one practical drawback to this method. If you are in a position where you need to be listening to everything and making sure everyone's parts are working and being played how you want them to sound, it's going to be tough if you can't hear everything. However, in my opinion, leading the band, especially while singing and playing an instrument, is enough of a responsibility without having to also pay attention to the big picture. Something's got to give.

I'd be interested in hearing how other's approach their mixes. Chime in!

Panic First, Ask Questions Later

In my experience, there are two types of people on a tech team, probably any team. Those you want standing next to you when the building starts on fire, and those you hope have that day off.

After reading Change Your Brain Change Your Life I believe it’s just the way people are wired. It’s fascinating to watch though, especially if it’s not an actual emergency where someone’s life may be in danger.

Let’s say, we’re talking about putting on a church service. Is this important? You bet. Is someone going to die if we mess something up during the service? Unlikely. For example: the band is about to finish the last song and transition into a bumper video before the pastor comes out to deliver a message. The person at the Media computer says there is a big question mark where the video is supposed to be. There is about half a minute left to find the video and start playing it, or come up with a plan B.

Image by Ryo Chijiiwa

There is a type of person that when subjected to this scenario is going to freak out. Blood pressure will skyrocket, face will turn red, aimless running, perhaps some screaming. Maybe you pictured someone you know. Or perhaps you are that person. That's ok. Even better if you know it.  

The second type of person will calmly search for the video while simultaneously communicating to the team to get the pastor ready to go on early. You can almost see the internal clock ticking down while they are determining at what point they bail on the search and load the Pastor. This happens to be an actual event and there were less than 10 seconds left when the video was found, relinked and ready to play. The congregation never knew there was a problem. Despite the chaos created by several freak-out prone people in the booth at the time .

I raise this observation because I think it’s important to know how your key people are going to react in a stressful situation before the situation becomes stressful so you can plan for it. If you have a talented person in your FOH booth that you know is going to cave when the ship bumps into an iceberg, it doesn’t mean they can’t serve in the booth. It means you might want to have a buddy in that booth that can handle the pressure. Also, you probably don't want to leave two freak-out prone people alone in the booth at the same time. Although entertaining, that may be more of a disruption than it’s worth.

I have come up with a handy little checklist to help determine if a person is prone to panic.

Is swearing louder than 92 dB this person's first response to stressful situations?

Does this person lose all ability to communicate when something goes wrong?

Under stress, is it normal for vomiting or loss of other bodily fluids to take place?

If you answered yes to any of these, that's what we call a "red flag".

Luckily, I have been very fortunate (actually, as a Christian I think I'm required to say "blessed") to work with people who I'd want next to me if the building literally started on fire. I think it's good to have an educated guess on how all your key people would react if that actually happened. You might want to take it into consideration when you build and schedule your teams too.